whistling. wandering. and the subconscious.
i go for a walk, every day. (even if just around the block.)
while walking, i’ll often be intentional about letting go of Control of my mind, just letting it Wander.
this sometimes leads to me whistling random tunes.
sometimes they’re songs i’ve heard. sometimes they’re just random melodies i guess my subconscious likes. sometimes they’re a mixture of both.
today as i got home, i started taking back Control of my mind, and noticed i was whistling something.
it felt familiar.
but i wasn’t quite sure what it was.
i tried to keep the whistling going. it was hard. like trying to remember a dream.
but eventually, i figured out what i was whistling:
now. why did my subconscious start whistling this?
perhaps because lately, i’ve been reading a book about a survivor of WWII, and this brought memories of my late grandfather into my subconscious. he lost an entire life and loved ones, due to the war.
and i have strong associations between Edelweiss and my grandfather. perhaps because it was one of the few times i heard him sing.
or…
maybe not. maybe i’m just trying to Explain something i don’t understand. maybe this is something that is simply Unknowable.
the thing about the subconscious is… i have no idea why it thinks the things it thinks. why it feels the way it feels. why it does the things it does.
my personality is very Curious. i wonder a lot. about a lot of things.
i think some of this curiosity comes from a place of wanting desperately to know, to understand. because the uncertainty of not knowing something is very… uncomfortable for me.
but today. i’m not going to overthink it.
i’m just going to enjoy the nice tune my subconscious brought me, while i was walking and whistling.
brains are weird.