On the joy of Unexpected Social Encounters
Earlier today I was grabbing coffee with my neighbor. As I was taking my mug outside to a table, I noticed someone reading a book with an interesting title.
I said hello, your book has such an interesting title, how are you liking it? Halfway through her response, the person next to her said, Sam?
It was a former coworker!
This particular coworker was part friend part colleague, so it was quite the pleasant surprise to see him and briefly catch up!
This joy that comes from an Unexpected Social Encounter is something I’ve been noticing a lot lately.
The other day I unexpectedly ran into someone walking their dog who I did study abroad with, and who I hadn’t seen literally since study abroad. And once every few weeks for the past few months, I run into a friend at a local park.
When I’ve reflected on these small moments, I realize how much I appreciate them!
These days, making social plans can feel exhausting.
It feels like everyone is always so busy. It feels like I’m always so busy. You have the back and forth of when people are free. You have the back and forth of trying to figure out what to do. And when you finally figure out plans, I feel like I have an Obligation to make sure they Have A Good Time because there’s so much else they could be doing.
And as an introvert, just the thought of knowing you have social plans later on can feel exhausting.
A wise man once told me:
Happiness = Reality - Expectations
And when you weren’t expecting to see the person in the first place, there are no expectations!
If all you do is smile and exchange a brief, how’s it going? That’s okay. There’s no pressure to make the encounter a whole big thing. It’s okay to not feel like socializing.
But, you might also have a conversation that’s more involved and more interesting.
Since you literally had zero Expectations, Reality is almost certainly going to be better than what you were expecting.
I believe these types of social interactions are a big part of what made college so fun and exciting! And this is probably the thing I miss most about office culture pre-pandemic.
I get a lot of joy from Unexpected Social Encounters, and I wish it were easier to make them happen. But for now, I’ll keep going to parks, book stores, and coffee shops. Hope to see you there!