On being friends with Remarkable people

18 Jan, 2024

Yesterday I made a playlist titled "i miss my roommate from alaska".

I was listening to it again today during my wakeup routine, and boy has it got me in a good mood. It didn't hurt that The Bridge of Khazad Dum coincided nicely with my morning walk; Pierce St hasn't felt this epic since I was biking down the hill, half drunk and way too fast, after a magical pinball date.

The density of adventure was off the charts freshmen year, in no small part thanks to my roommate from alaska. We found the best place to spend meal plan flex dollars after 1am. We turned multidimensional calculus lectures into a drinking game. We played music way louder than our neighbors appreciated. We snuck our friends onto the roof and exchanged stories under the stars. We learned how to juggle after sneaking way too many oranges out of the dining hall. We borrowed a car to shop at Home Depot for supplies to make a multistory beer bong. We reenacted scenes from the Fellowship's journey¹ to Mordor. And yes, we studied many long hours at those desks on the 3rd floor.

Life has taken us on very different paths since we shared a room. But I still love telling people about him. About the time he spent the night in jail for climbing something he shouldn't have. About his dangerous, but often very profitable, escapades on the fishing boat. About how he didn't have a cell phone for several weeks during winter quarter and somehow made it out fine.

When I reflect on that time living together, one thing strikes me with particular resonance. My roommate from alaska was a remarkable person, and by spending so much time with him, it felt like I became a more remarkable person.

The definition of remarkable on wiktionary says:

Worthy of remark; notable; interesting.

In an early draft of this post, I used the word "interesting" instead of the word "remarkable". But "interesting" didn't quite feel right. Yes, my roommate from alaska was (and is!) exceedingly interesting. But, to me, the word "interesting" didn't convey the nuance of the feeling I was trying to express.

There are people in your life that you love telling other people about. It doesn't really matter why you feel that way, the point is that you do.

For example, I recently attended a show at a cozy underground jazz club on Haight St with a friend I met through frisbee. The sort of show where you can chat with the musicians afterward. We found ourselves in a fairly involved conversation with the singer, and at one point she was talking about how she really wanted to perform outside. I couldn't wait to share about how my friend had performed outside! (A piano duet at the botanical gardens.)

I felt so excited to show off my friend's talents and experiences!!

The craft of converting human thoughts and feelings into language is beautiful and mysterious. The same words can mean starkly different things. Different words can express identical messages. The meanings of words evolve over time and space. And I find all this intoxicatingly fascinating.

On that note, I'd like to officially create the first entry in Sam's Dictionary:

Remarkable

when something is Remarkable, it makes me want to remark, to share beyond myself

Happiness isn't something you can seek out directly. Paradoxically, the harder you work to seek happiness, the harder it becomes to find. Knowing that, I have some advice for Future Sam:

Be friends with Remarkable people².