mahjong night
slow. down.
that's what lady jessica told paul in the sietch.
and i wonder if that's what should i be telling myself now...
tonight was mahjong night. which i've been looking forward to all week. and it was great! i got to continue some conversations from last week. i got to learn a bit more about a lot of people.
i learned T grew up in maryland. and while he didn't say it, i'm pretty sure he got closer with his brother over their shared escape to basketball during lockdown.
i learned K grew up in (the suburbs of) Los Angeles, and at one point lived in Berkeley, where she had her own culinary business. Which sounded so cool!
and i learned M works in finance. the things she was saying about the boys there. lmao. and only four days a week. can't wait til a four day workweek becomes more common.
but anyway.
here's the thing. and why i'm wondering if i'm moving too fast.
i started talking to new people. like. whose names i didn't know. (gasp)
(for some of you this may seem like a totally reasonable thing to do at a bar.. but some of us have wild social anxiety.)
but the thing is. i'm trying to be myself. that's basically why i moved to new york. so i could be myself. or at least to work on figuring out what "being myself' even means.
and Sam likes to ask people questions. my love language is making people feel seen.
but sometimes. i wonder.
did i go too fast? i don't want to ask something too personal, too quickly. i just want them to know i think they're interesting.
(yes, i really do think you have an excellent mustache. it reminds me of my dad. and yes, i really do think it's awesome you play in a basketball league. i sunk enough years of my life into that game to respect anyone who plays.)
well. i wonder. what do we think will happen next? if they see me again, will they look upon me with eyes of scorn? or maybe, just maybe, of fondness?
well. we'll find out next week!