the suffocating pressure of efficiency
everywhere i go, someone is trying to convince me i need to get more for less. i need to do more in less time. i need to be more with less effort.
but, why?
efficiency can be great. but it doesn't need to be the New Religion.
i want to be around people who care about quality. i want to be around people who care about putting your soul into something. i want to be around people who care about reaching out and maybe, just maybe, touching someone's heart.
i had a panic attack two days ago.
reflecting on it, i realized a substantial contributing factor is feeling like i'm behind. feeling like i'm not moving fast enough, to get where i'm trying to get, by when i'm trying to get there.
but why am i in such a hurry?
i want to move with intention. intellectually, i think i do in fact need to move quite quickly to get where i want to be going. but i want to feel less fear about not getting there in time.
if you miss your train, life doesn't end then and there.
thursday, july 11, 2024, new york city